I can hardly comprehend that it is no more than two weeks ago that I lived in a very small room with two other boys. Now I live in this big, wonderful house, stuffed to the brim with warm and friendly people – and I have a room of my, although not a very big one.
And my new job is very exiting. I've learned a lot this week, when it comes to accounting and the like. I really enjoy doing something thats mentally challenging for a change.
At a more personal level, I'm still trying to “unlock” my emotions. For years, the harsh realities of my life has caused me to lock away all emotion, good and bad.
It is really difficult to deal with. I've been out of contact with my feelings so long, that it seems as they were never there. So, this is the real miracle work -- at least for me.
I've seen people healed from arthritis, broken bones, cancer, schizophrenia, depression and a large amount of other things.
But oh, for God to heal some of the horrible things that have happened in my life, that will be wonderful. It's already started -- I'm getting closer to myself every day.
So, what do I expect? Primarily, this is going to hurt. A lot. I have a lot of pain and stuff like that stashed away, and the day I'm able to break through the shell will most certainly be a painful one. But I live in expectation. I'm tired of living a pseudo-life, where the most complex emotion I have is hunger.